Lisa's Minestrone Soup

2 to 3 pounds of beef browned and drained

a medium sweet onion chopped

some minced garlic ( I used about 4 or 5 heaping tablespoons)

S&P

2 cans of great northern beans

2 28oz cans of diced Italian style tomatoes

1 28oz can of tomato puree

2 large boxes 32 oz  beef stock

1 small can of V8 

some basil, oregano and Italian seasoning 

In a separate pot cook noodles.I used 1 pound of Ditalini. Drain, rinse with cold water add in about 1 hour before you eat. 

I have had it simmering all day. It really blends the flavors the longer you can cook.  

We sprinkled it with parmasean cheese.

Fear and Changes

In June it will be four years since my Leukemia diagnosis. So many changes that brought to my life!! Some of those changes were good. It strengthened an already strong marriage, it brought perspective in so many things and gave true meaning to "don't sweat the small stuff". The floor will still need mopped tomorrow but Mark John may not want to play that game. That jackass that cut me off may have done it on purpose and it may have been an accident. I control how I handle it. I probably will still holler jackass but it doesn't need to make me all mad. People make mistakes and those mistakes effect me but I can't change it so suck it up and just enjoy the ride. There is no use in letting one or a few small things upset me for a whole day. In short in many ways cancer calmed me. It also gave new perspective to my absolute favorite saying "it is what it is". 

 The word cancer also brought fear. The words Acute Leukemia brought a fear beyond anything I had ever known or imagined. It still makes my chest tight. Sadly, some of my friends know that fear and thankfully, others do not. It  is a fear that if not put in check can consume you. I decided I must use that fear to fight. Fight with all I had, fight with my whole being. Fight to be here to grow old with the love of my life, my husband. Fight for watching my son grow up. Fight to watch one sister graduate high school, another head to middle school yet another continue her college education and another to marry her soul mate. It made me fight to watch my parents grow old and be here to watch my nieces and nephews become all they will be. It also made me fight to be here and see my friends and all their amazingness. It made me fight to LIVE! 

All these people and my amazing Dr.Rehmus and wonderful nurses, aids and techs on AGMC 5400 & outpatient offices and clinic helped me fight to live! When I got weak they fought for me. When I needed pushed they pushed, when I needed love and caring they gave me love and caring.  I am here because of me but also because of all of them!

The fear is still there but it is different. Now it's the fear is of it's return. While a missed or late period before would have brought no reaction or a happy thought of a baby now it brings a fear. A fear of relapse. Pregnancy brings hormone changes and has proven almost definite relapse. A bruise would have normally had no reaction, now it's a list of questions. Is it is "crazy" bruise? How long has it been there? Is it going away?  This is especially hard because I am a huge klutz! God help you if you're the one who asks me about a bruise I didn't know about!  Someone asking if I feel alright or mentioning I look pale can send me into a panic. Then it's finding the closest mirror and asking myself, yes out loud, if my color in my lips is good, are my cheeks rosy, how about the color around my eyes?  Then a strip search for crazy bruises.  

The further out from remission achieved (July 15, 2009) I get the easier it gets. It's still hard and probably more so because I have anxiety to begin with. Daily meds help, regular therapy helps, an amazing husband who believes with everything in him I have this licked helps, my own stubborness usually helps. I realized last night I went almost an entire awake day without a daily check of above.  That is amazing and has never happened before!  In almost four years I went longer than I ever had without a thought to Leukemia. That is amazing! Today I am writing this. After last nights realization today I can't get Leukemia off my mind.  It happens and i'm not going to let it control me or my day. I am going to keep going and push those thoughts away. I won't lie though, I will do that after I do a mirror check first. 

an explanation

Over the years many people have asked me about how my chemo was done, why it was done that way, what it meant. This is the best explanation I have seen. It explains it well and in easy to understand language.

http://www.cancer.org/cancer/leukemia-acutemyeloidaml/overviewguide/leukemia-aml-overview-treating-chemotherapy


I never had to do maintenance. I was diagnosed with AML M5.

Marriage by Phil Panebianco

Marriage is the bond of two souls,

the fusion of two lives.

Marriage is the sacred vows of love and life,

the promise to always see things through.

Marriage is finding that person who completes you in every way,

a person who knows you, better than you know yourself.

Marriage is waking up every morning with a smile on your face, a sparkle in your eye.

Marriage is looking forward to every second spent together.

Every smile, every laugh, every tear, every hug, every kiss.

Marriage is finding that one person who inspires you.

That one person you never take for granted.

Marriage is finding your best friend.

The one friend you know, will never look down on you,never judge you.

Marriage is complete trust and commitment.

Two people who would do anything to defend, protect and honorone another, till their last breath.

Marriage is you and I growing together, happily in love, forever.

By: Phil Panebianco

December 12, 2012 Oncologist visit

I have had a very stressful week. I really don't expect anyone to get it except other survivors but here it is. Extended time between checks is awesome and exciting. It is however also very stressful! Especially the last week before visit.  No matter how symptom free you are and no matter how well you feel the doubts creep in. I do my absolute best to keep my faith and keep my sanity but it is hard! I was dealing pretty well considering. I saw my counselor on Monday. That helps a lot. Yesterday I kept way busy and for some reason was much calmer. That calmness carried through to this morning. The calmness carried on till I brushed my teeth and looked in the mirror. That is when I noticed I had a surface hemorrhage in my left eye. It sent me in a down word spiral freak out! To those who don't know my retinas hemorrhaged before diagnosis and I had many eye surface hemorrhages during treatment. Hence my freak out! I went to  my Oncologist appointment and all my counts are fine and I am doing great! I am trying to recover from today and also not worry about my eye. I will admit is still worries me a bit but at least I know I am still Leukemia free!!

So some amazing news my Oncologist gave me today is what I will end with.  She specializes in Leukemia and just got back from an AML seminar. She said new statistics  are showing that once you reach the 3 year mark (from remission achieved) the chances of relapse are even lower than they had thought. Chance or relapse is  actually very slim. 

20 things every mother should teach her son

I read this somewhere else and I never want to forget it and definitely want it for my lil guy when he is older.

20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son

1. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don't take something away from her that you can't give back.

2. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.


3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.

4. Save money when you're young because you're going to need it some day.

5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.

6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.

7. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.

8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.

9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts.

10. Take pride in your appearance.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" still go a long way.

14. The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". Please do not scratch them in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.

17. Be patriotic.

18. Potty humor isn't the only thing that's humorous.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren.

20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.

Sweet Potato Pie

Sweet Potato Pie

2 deep dish pie crusts unbaked I like Marie Collandar
1 stick of butter
2c sweet potatoes mashed
2c sugar
1tsp vanilla
3 eggs
3.5 tsp cinnamon
1 small can evaporated milk

Mix all of the above together and pour evenly into crusts. Bake at 350 for 1 hour